Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Three Wishes Review and Q-n-A

Three Wishes: A True Story of Good Friends, Crushing Heartbreak, and Astonishing Luck on Our Way to Love and Motherhood
Three Wishes:A Trues Story of Good Friends, Crushing Heartbreak,and Astonishing Luck On Our WayTo Love and Motherhood
 Carey Goldberg
288 pgs.
Little Brown and Co.

Amazon Blurb -

As a Moscow correspondent for the L.A. Times and a reporter for the New York Times, Goldberg's life was driven by career deadlines. Yet, like her friends Jones, a recently divorced writer, and Ferdinand, a single reporter for the Washington Post, Goldberg longed for a child. Having just ended a relationship, Goldberg decided to order eight vials of sperm from California Cryobank, a deceptively hopeful maneuver that pushed all three down the path toward motherhood. That they actually make it, and find long-term relationships along the way, makes for a happy journey, but the power of this three-pronged narrative is the trio's candor regarding the compromises and complications that arise in the process of becoming mothers. Ironically, the anonymous vials of sperm never fulfill their intended purpose, but instead become a symbol of empowerment, giving each woman the green light to let go of bad relationships, find fulfilling new connections, and determine their own destinies. This personal, carefully recounted tale will resonate with any career woman wondering if it's too late to have it all. 

Well, what can I say, I felt like there were shades of Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat Pray Love in here.  I found I had nothing in common with any of these women other than the fact that, well we're women. 

Each one of these gals want a child.  They all let the careers take front and center, then suddenly realized that time was running out.  Kinda made me think of Marissa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny tapping her foot saying "My biological clock is ticking."  Carey even said she wished her friends who had older children would have told her how special this having a baby is and she would have made it a priority sooner.

Supposedly friends, but I didn't get that, more like acquaintances other than the vial of sperm from an anonymous donor they passed around to each other tying them together.  The book chronicles their trials and tribulations of making the decision, finding love and the joy and sometimes sorrow that pregnancy brings, ultimately with each having their beautiful babies.

These were very "progressive" liberal thinking women, sometimes promiscuous, and free spirited.  All would be considered quite comfortable financially.  World travelers going here and there at the drop of a dime.  I'm no prude, but when Beth's boyfriend to be doesn't wanna jump in the sack with her after the first date she is shocked because she always thought you f**k em first then you see if you like all the other stuff about em.  Yes I used the crude word there not her, she just said sex, because that is basically what she did with a lot of guys, one of them 21 years old to her late 37 or 8.  This is so not my way of thinking.   Nor is jetting off to Africa for 21 days leaving my baby and husband behind.  I couldn't leave any of them for that long!!  When my Dad passed in 09, I took my kids and stayed with my Mom for almost 3 weeks and that was just too long to be away from my husband, we both hated it. I will never do that again, it was only the very sad and extenuating circumstances that provoked it.

As you can see, this just wasn't the book for me.  I come from a totally different background and upbringing.  Italian, very close family all living near each other with old fashioned values.  No nannies or jet setting, no grandma babysitting up the wazoo.  Our families very involved in each of our lives, usually most find it almost claustrophobic, and I see the difference in families here in So Cali from my raising in Brooklyn New York pushing children outta the nest at 18, where as we stay, some if they don't marry never leaving.  To each his own.

2 1/2 cannolis
Ok girls, you can go over to Marce's blog and post your answers on her blog, as well as link your review and q-n-a *HERE*

Q-n-A (spoiler alert)

1) Who was your favorite out of Carey, Beth or Pam?  Also, who was your favorite male?

I really didn’t like any of them but if I have to choose it would be Carey.  Which male, I think Phil, Beth’s husband.

2)  What was your favorite or memorable scene?

Well it sure wasn’t my favorite scene but the one that stuck out the most was how Beth went on an African safari leaving her baby and husband for 21 days!  I’ll  never forget going to the Pocono’s in Pennsylvania for two nights when our oldest was 4, we dropped her off at my mom’s and were barely to the corner when Hubby looks at me and says “If 1 tear falls, I’ll turn around.”  I hate to leave my children and didn’t leave a single one of them until they turned 4 and then for only 1 or 2 nights.
3)  Do you think there is an age females should consider the cut off to become a mom, single or not?

Well considering how they each suffered their losses, maybe, I can’t say for sure.  I know with my last guy, I was 39 when I had him and I did the amnio just so we could be prepared God forbid of something.

4)  How do you think the friendships played a role in this book?

Ha, I didn’t really get the close friendship vibe other than good ole sperm donor 8282 being the common denominator.  Yes, they all had writing backgrounds but I don’t think they were best buds.

5)  What do you think about women choosing to become a single mom?  What changes do you see happening in your lifetime with regard to women?

I’m not big on the choosing to have a baby cuz your body clock is ticking dad or no dad.  I feel society has minimized the importance of a father right down to portraying him as a silly buffoon on tv sitcoms.  Dads are an extremely necessary part of a child’s life.  That doesn’t mean that you stay in a bad marriage, but two parents is the ideal situation.

6)  If you were seeking a sperm donor, would you choose an anonymous sperm donor or a known donor? What would you do if a friend offered to donate his sperm?

I can’t even answer this because I would never do it.  If I wasn’t married I would not have a child end of story.

7)  If you wanted a child and your partner didn’t, what would you do?

Cry my fricken eyes out.  That would be something you should talk about before planning marriage.

8)  If you could have a child but not a partner, or a partner but not a child, which would you choose?

 A partner.  Again, raising kids is hard enough with my husband, we have six, I wouldn’t want to do it alone.


  1. Hi Paula--I didn't read your review or Q&A yet because I'm still reading, but I promise to finish within the next two days!!! I'm only 1/3 way through, but already I have strong opinions! lol!

    For July's H author book, I'd like to suggest Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris. It's the first book in a four book mystery series by Harris and is likely to be found at most libraries. I'd be glad to change it if more than one person in our group is adverse to it. Just let me know--no hard feelings. :)

  2. Unless you guys would rather read Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris? It's the first book in her popular Sookie Stackhouse series. I'm game for either one...

  3. I considered 2 1/2 also but the one's I gave that is because I skimmed to finish but this was still almost as bad.

    And to think this is a memoir, real women and there will be many others that understand their entitlement outlook.

  4. Ohhh wanted to tease and say TessG would have been better, scaring the crap out of us, lol

  5. Paula: I think we had pretty similar takes on the story! For me, the book just seemed like women doing things out of order. There is a natural order to this process of becoming a mother and messing with that process does involve astonishing heartbreak and some good luck (or whatever that title is).

  6. I have read both books and have no problem whatsoever with these choices. I enjoyed Harper Connely very much (Grave Sight)and I've finished the Sookie series. I'll let the other girls chime in here, as I said choosing a book that I've read already is fine for me, I could just go to my review and freshen my memory.

  7. My pick is for Grave Sight. I read the first Sookie book and I like to read new to me books.

    If everybody else is game - really, whatever everybody else wants.

    Not to jump ahead but am I up for the I author? If so, I want enough time to come up with something good!

  8. I have the 1st Sookie one, so that is my choice, it will get me to read it finally, since I have only had it for over 2 years.

  9. Yes Belle, you're up for the letter I

    Ok Christine the choice is yours :)

  10. I think we all agree that the friendships were not prevalent in this story at all. I would like to think there was more between them than they shared in their memoir? I mean... they called themselves best friends, but we didn't witness the nitty gritty of BFFs, right?

    These women could not have done what they did without WADS of money, that's for sure. I forgot about the one who went on safari for three weeks! Wtf? My husband and I have been married almost 18 years and have NO family to baby sit for us--in fact, we've been taking care of his parents from day one-- and we have yet to be away together one night without our kids. Oh wait! Last winter both girls were at sleepovers the same night, so that was probably our first night alone without the kids. Of course my father-in-law was in his room on the first floor, so to me, it still doesn't count as ALONE!

    Anyway, this was a tough book, huh?

  11. oh! Let's go with Grave Sight for July since Paula and BookBelle have read the first Sookie already.


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